Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I learned the truth at thirteen...

I wanted this blog to be about issues, so I am going to tell you about a lesson I learned not too long ago...

For most of my life, I've held on to the same belief most girls have- If we get a boyfriend or fall in love, suddenly, our lives will be perfect and all the little holes in our life will suddenly be filled up with the face of this utterly perfect guy. It doesn't sound unreasonable if you don't think about it. After all, every Hollywood movie tells us so, when the couples get back together no matter what due to the awesome powers of love and their lives are nothing but happy afterwards. By the time I was thirteen I expected to have an amazing boyfriend. I didn't see how ridiculous this was, when I was a social outcast in school and none of my friends were guys. I listen jealously to the popular girls talk about their two week boyfriends and complain about how they were so young when they got their first kiss (only eleven, dear god!). I didn't realize they were victims, too, going from guy to guy so quickly.

Every crush was suddenly the love of my life and I'd pretend he'd like me back, twisting every move into a sign of deep romance, only to move on to someone else. It was fun yet so childish and stupid. Most of the guys in school didn't even notice me or if they did, they thought I was a freak. Maybe in teen movies a girl like me always gets the guy, but those movies are marketed towards freaky chicks who can't get dates; it's not reality.

One day, as I lay on my bed thinking about my crush, it hit me. It was something I thought all girls needed to know:
We were all bimbos:changing ourselves, tugging at our shirts, slathering on make up in colors we disliked all to make some skinny, pubescent, jerkfacish guy fall madly in love with us and thinking somewhere under that pimply skin is a knight in shining armor. There were many girls my age- drop dead gorgeous ones- without boyfriends. A lot of people don't date till their fifteen or sixteen. Most people won't find true love till they reach adulthood; they could be really old when they find it. Yet, most of us expect once we hit puberty, when guys are at their most idiotic point, to find true love. Why? Because we feel we need some guy to make us beautiful. If a guy doesn't tell us, we're ugly. We do this because we expect some miracle to rain down upon us and make our lives perfect. That day I saw the truth. I learned that no guy is the key to happiness; you're the key. We should be happy with ourselves, before we're concerned with what any guy thinks.
I also learned that love is very complicated. There is not just true love or no love between a guy or a girl. And besides that kind of love, there is love of all kinds: for the earth, for friends, for family, for life and these types of love are just as powerful.
Back then, I thought I knew everything, but I guess I don't. I still catch myself acting bimbo-ish sometimes. We all do. But, now, I try a little harder not to.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Urggeee... Just Another Pointless Postage

I don't even like to type, but anything to avoid homework. I'm such a procrastinator. I command myself to get off NOW. no.....now. Seriously,now. Listen to yourself! Now this is just silly. I shan't carry on this way.


Why don't I edit my posts before I publish them?

Why I did it

When I started this blog, I expected to writing about important things (...issues...subjects...), but I'll I do is write short posts in juice bright hues that are filled to the inch with self-absorbed babble about made-up words, combat boots, and why I don't blog too often. None of my friends really know me as as a truly thoughtful person who really cares about major things...the type of person who ponders the mysteries of the world, instead of living trapped in them. It's a side myself of I seldom show and I don't know why. I just don't get the chance, too. I'm very radical thinker ( at least according to myself) and I created this blog to get those thoughts out there. Yet, they are still writhing within me. I can't think of much else needed to be said in this post. Look out for new posts ( perhaps more socially conscious ones)